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You ever get into one of those contemplative moods, that makes it impossible to do anything else but think?

Thank is what is going on with me for the last couple of days. Ever since I lost my job last week(a whole long long story that I might post some other time, but lets just say..losing ones job right before holidays is not fun.)

I am going to be 25 in a little more then four months. A quoter of a century has passed since i was born. I keep thinking about what have I done with my life, where is my life going? I have yet to get more then first semester freshman credit in college, and I know that college is not for everyone, but I feel like I have failed in this respect. I hold education in such a high regard, yet I can't learn in a traditional setting. I know a little about a whole bunch of things, but can never seem to apply that to anything important. By this point in my life I wanted to either A)be on my way towards teaching, B) running for some political office, or C)acting professionally.

As you can tell I have not accomplished any of this. I kind of feel like I am permently treading water. The only thing I am sure about, is my relationship with Manda. I know that we will, eventually, get married, once she figures out where she will be for a sustained period of time(and we can save money:-P I love you sweetie)

this part of the U2 sone, "Stuck in the moment" keeps going through my head:
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I dont know, I guess I feel kinda useless now that I lost a job that i liked. I felt that being in retail management actually gave my life direction and meaning. Now I have lost it.

I had a lot more going through my head, but I am finding it hard to put it down on "paper". I guess this will have to be a two part entry.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments

sorry to hear about the job.
i'm sure you'll find something... just hang in there.